THE BEST OF THE SEASON

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I got some great cards at this year’s Farmer’s Market Craft Fair, startlingly colorful starfish photographed in the clear water of the Indian Ocean at Sand Island, Kenya. The woman selling them is raising money to aid schools and buy treadle sewing machines and other low-tech help for five villages in Kenya. The project was started by her kids when they were in high school and she is carrying it on.

I also got to hear the World Harmony Chorus perform there. They sing songs from all over, and I was impressed that the first one was in 7/8 time. They have branches in Mountain View, Oakland, and Lafayette. More music at the Craft Fair next Saturday and the Saturday after.

In case you are planning to go caroling this season, here are a few parodies to vary your performance.

SOMEWHERE TODAY

Tune: Joy to the World, new words by Russellyn Carruth

Somewhere today, a girl is born,

A girl who’s really free!

She’ll live a life she won’t resent,

She may become the president!

Let’s keep our daughters free,

Each one an entity,

I wonder what this girl will choose to be.

O CHRISTMAS TREE

New words by Julie McCall

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree

With piles of gifts we love to see

Beneath the branches they're displayed

I hope they all are Union-made!

Don't buy those games and Teddy bears

Unless the Union label's there

Go tell your friends and families

To shop in solidarity.

O Christmas tree with gifts so grand

Were any made by children's hands?

A Christmas bargain's not so nice

If sweatshop workers paid the price

Consumers, let's all use our clout

It's time to get the message out

The greatest gift beneath our tree

Is Union solidarity!

SOLAR CAROL

Tune: Angels We Have Heard on High, new words by Bright Morning Star with friendly amendments by Nancy Schimmel

Join the sun in jubilee,

Celebrate each day’s rebirth.

Solar panels rooftop high

Warm our hearth but not our earth

Chorus

So-o-o-o-lar power, inexpensive energy,

Rainbow showed the flood was gone

Warned us of the fire next time

We can choose the brighter way

Sunshine makes the rainbow sign.

Chorus

On the shortest day of all

Sing with us this joyous strain,

So our children’s children will

Echo back the glad refrain.

GLORIA IN EXCELSUS LATKE

New words by Russell Aminzade, member of the '80s band

"The Nice Jewish Boys".

Angels we have heard on high

Telling us to go and fry

Latkes crisp and golden brown

In the Jewish part of town

(Chorus)

Glo-o-o-o-o-o

o-o-o-o-o

o-o-o-o-orious

Hot potato pancakes (twice)

(Chorus)

Peel and grate the spuds to start

(Me, I use a Cuisinart)

Egg and onion, no big deal

Add a little Matzoh meal

(Chorus)

Fry them up in oil of gold

Serve them quick, before they're cold

Tell the tale of Maccabees

And forget the calories

(Chorus) !

Lite and airy as a dream

Smother them in sour cream

We don't need dessert because

We eat them with applesauce

(Chorus)

I’M DREAMING OF A GREEN CHRISTMAS

Tune, White Christmas by Irving Berlin, new words, anon.

The sun is shining, the grass is brown,

The sky is yellowish gray.

It’s just your typical day in Beverly Hills, L.A.

But I am dreaming a far-off year

When even skies in L.A. are clear...

I’m dreaming of a green Christmas, just like my living Christmas tree,

When a tofu turkey will not seem quirky,

It’s grandmother’s recipe.

I’m dreaming of a green Christmas, ocean and air and beaches clean,

When recycled cards are routine, and when all our Christmases are green.

BONES AND BISCUITS

New words by the folks down at the Point Isabel Dog Park

Deck the halls with bones and biscuits,

Bow-wow-wow-wow-wow, wow wow wow wow,

Fill our bowls with ham and briskets,